Culinary Counseling

I really like to cook. But, as is the case with most things I really like to do, I don't participate in the activity very often. I mean this is the whole premise of this blog, right, so if what I just wrote was news to you, you have a few posts to catch up on.

Just about an hour ago I decided to prepare some food for the morning. Nothing exciting, some cumin-scented quinoa and yam for a breakfast burrito similar to the one described in a previous posting. During the process of chopping up some onion and garlic, for a brief moment, I wasn't thinking about anything but chopping up some onion and garlic. In that moment I realized why I haven't been cooking for myself lately (as in the last 10 months). Cooking prevents me from doing anything else. There may be chefs out there who can successfully multi-task, but I am not one of them. When I am in the midst of preparing a meal I can get totally lost in the dicing, the slicing, the sauteeing, the steaming, the broiling, the baking. And what do I have to show for this 30-60 minutes of committment to food and utensil? A result that only benefits me. Unless, of course, the meal turns out wretchedly in which case it doesn't benefit anyone. Maybe if I had a dog or some other pet or even a roommate with a less discerning palatte than my own than at least some good would come out of it...

But in reality, it's just me and when I cook its purely for my own benefit. Two years ago, I lived in San Francisco with 5 other volunteers. We took turns manning (or womanning as the case may be) one of 2 kitchens to create culinary delights (I use the term loosely) for the enjoyment and nourishment of our housemmates. The days I was in charge of dinner someone had to nearly pry the wooden spoon from my hand. Granted the menus I came up with were typically overly ambitious and the meal was often late getting to the table. Still, I enjoyed every last minute in that kitchen because I knew that when the smoke cleared (our oven had a tendency to burn things) I would be able to present this food, this gift to nurture 5 other humans.

Cooking for myself feels indulgent...

(At the moment so does writing this blog when I have a dozen other assignments to work on so I'll pause for a brief interlude...more later)

From the psychiatrist's couch,
Jenna